Man, talk about feeling like a pile of POO! I got a letter from the little girl I sponsor yesterday. She doesn't write them herself yet, so they are filled in by a social worker, volunteer teacher, or someone like that. What I got was a list of things their form letter asks with her answers:
Response to sponsor's questions:
I thank you for everything you have been doing for me.
Questions from Child to Sponsor:
I want to know why you have not been writing to me.
I would like to know more about:
I will love to know more about your country, and how life is treating you.
Child's prayer for sponsor:
I pray to God that may your blessings be more and more.
Child's prayer request:
I ask God to bless you abundantly.
"I want to know why you have not been writing to me." I was so excited to see that I had a letter from her, but when I read those words, it hit me like a ton of bricks....and it made me sad. Admittedly, this last year has been extremely hectic, and my letters have slacked off some since I started sponsoring her, but I have written several times this last year, either online through Compassion International, or with a real letter. That one simple sentence though, seriously, made me feel terrible. It makes me see that no matter what I may do through sponsorship with money, what kids want is time and attention. They need to be made to feel special. They need to know someone cares. I have dropped the ball in a big way. I have promised and not delivered, and that bothers me a lot.
I am going to apologize to her, because I also realize that children need to know that adults can mess up sometimes. I am going to do my best to write to her once a week this year, and begin to build a real relationship with her. It's obvious that she's aged some with her questions and reasoning since I began sponsoring her, and with that comes the need for me to not just send money for sponsorship or 'stuff.'
I don't even know how to end this post, and in fact, it's so unflattering to me personally, I don't even know why I'm telling anyone. I guess these are the reasons we have blogs sometimes...so we can just write what's going on, and on our heart.....
6 days ago
2 comments:
Bless you, dear Dianne, for being so transparent. I'm sure every one of us could write about people we feel that we have neglected and let down, and it never feels good. I love your heart.
Jean is right, we ALL have times when we let others down and it's usually not something we do intentionally. Life just gets in our way. But it hurts and embarrasses us when it's pointed out, especially by a child so I know how you feel. I've been in your shoes. But it's easy "fixed" and a lesson has been learned so that's a good thing.
I'm so glad you're blogging again.
Hugs!
Kat
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