Looking back...and forward.

So now that I've commited to this new blog, I am sitting here wondering what in the world I am going to write about. I look back over the last year and see several things that have had profound effects on me, but don't even know where to start to put everything into words. I have had the privilege of walking with a very dear friend through her struggle with cancer, I have seen my Dad have surgery for prostate cancer, I have had the wonderful experience of a great new pastor that is driven by God, and is teaching us to pray and pour ourselves out in ways I've not experienced before. I've had the opportunity to have some great conversations with friends, both in expressing my appreciation for them, and in gaining great advice as well. It's just been a year of growth, rich in experience.

I know that I posted on my other blog about Dee and her lymphoma diagnosis. She was scheduled to have six chemos, then a PET scan to see where things stood. It was determined after that scan that she would go through two more rounds of chemo, then have another PET scan. After that, there were still three places that were still there, albiet small. SO she had to have two more rounds of some chemo called RICE...what that stands for, I have no idea. Today she went for another PET scan, she'll meet with her doctor on Thursday, then she is scheduled to have a stem cell transplant in the coming weeks. I know she would appreciate your prayers.

I saw my friend, Bev, battle cancer for seven years. It started out as breast cancer, then metastisized to other parts of her body. Eventually, it went to her liver, and she was gone within two weeks. She was a symbol of courage and faith, and I will forever be grateful for some of the conversations we had, and the lessons she taught me. I watched her group of friends, they call themselves 'Magnolias,' rally around her and walk with her every step of the way. I was close to Bev, but not like these women. From afar, I admired the closeness they shared, and thought that they truly were like that movie 'Steel Magnolias.' That's one of my very favorite movies because you can almost laugh and cry all in one breath! I've come to realize the value of those types of relationships as I've gotten older.

Earlier this year, a girl in my Sunday school class, Lane (one of the Magnolias), did our lesson one Sunday. It was about Hannah being childless, then how she prayed and left her burden with God, 'and her face was no longer downcast.' Well, that lesson really spoke to me because I battled for several years with being single, childless, etc. My life just wasn't following the 'normal' pattern of everyone else I knew. Then there came a day where I sort of did what Hannah did. I just prayed and left it with God. With that being said, I later e-mailed Lane, and told her what a great job she'd done on that lesson, how I could identify with the things she said, etc. THEN, I went on to tell her, because she was one of Bev's closest friends, that walking with Dee on this cancer journey has given me new eyes to see what all she did for Bev, and how I aspired to be that kind of friend to Dee. Simply faithful, dependable, and steadfast. I just cried as I typed that e-mail, partly because I knew how deeply she had been affected by Bev's life, and death, partly because I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose a friend you are THAT close to, and partly because of my own desires of being that steadfast. Lane's words back to me were profound and heartwarming:

"I know you are now walking a difficult path with your very close friend. It is a hard walk, but also a blessing at times. I know that God has prepared you for this because of your past actions. Like Dr. Phil says, "Past behavior is a perfect indicator of future behavior," and that is a good thing in your case. Laugh together, cry together, and just be there for each other. Don't let anything stop you when God prompts you. You think sometimes you are giving, but God always turns it around and gives you both a blessing. Please let me know if I can do anything to help. Brent and I will be at his grandmothers this weekend helping her, therefore I won't be there Sunday. Please look at the chair I usually sit in and know I am giving you a hug, just as if I was there. If I were able to be there I would be giving you a hug!!! You are a sweet lady, and I am proud to call you a friend."

Those words were exactly what I needed to hear. God's timing.

Dee's testimony has been astounding as she's walked the path God has had for her this last year. She's really even geared up for the stem cell transplant, even though she knows it will be hard on her body. She's ready to tackle it, head on. I really believe God uses the people we are closest to in order to teach us His lessons sometimes, and He's used all this in my life in a big way these last few months. As I've admitted before, He's used her to sharpen my prayer life, and my spiritual life, and our friendship has gained a new closeness that has been nothing but a blessing. I've tried hard to follow Lane's advice of, 'Don't let anything stop you when God prompts you.' Actually, Bev had told me that several times too, but the more of life I experience, I come to know more and more that if I can listen to God, and if I am able to discern His voice, He really gives us all the direction we need...in our relationships with others, and in our relationship with Him.

I never get tired of learning that lesson!